Listening to: Believe, The Smashing Pumpkins (From Aeroplane Flies High)

So I didn't win the lotto... tough... otherwise I wouldn't be fumbling around like a blind man in a revolving door trying to find my way around too many subjects in too little time. Yes, I did try... was rather hoping for beginners luck to get the winning combination and stake claim to the 8.5 million pounds, before tax of course. So much for that, anyway... so how many attempts does it take before someone claims that the beginner stage is over? Maybe I should try again for this coming Saturday, don't feel like donating tonight... Afterall, the proceeds to go to helping works around the UK. Thats how I look at it anyway.

The things I do not to go through this set of exams... Sigh... Cest la Vie

In a moment of utter frustration at my 1981 published software (by my lecturer, yes... he's been in warwick that long), computer (why the hell is there an incompatibility problem?! Can't anyone update the software again or maybe with the 10 grand we pay to uni, buy something new damn it!) and printer combination (bloody thing doesn't like dos)... I did this little test I found on some random person's blog. So, yeah! Kinda shows what kind of a dependant person I am on the stupid crappy blog! Aaarrgghhh... frustration. I guess Charles Mingus, Moanin' doesn't help either.

A true dark horse! Which Journal Site Are You?

Think I need a look at the outside world and if someone got me a shotgun, I'd shoot some townies to restore some peace to this forsaken place. I promise, I'm fine... *smiles* :D

Creaky bones and tired body... Ugghh...




Can the ship in the bottle set sail?

The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn't matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark."
Barbara Hall

Listening to: "C" is for Cookie, Cookie Monster
Thinking of:



Image thanks to www.geektimes.com Got Milk?

I've not done enough today, distraction... sigh. Though, I had 2 lunches (such monstrosity) and Ferrari once again took the top step today. Congrats to Button too, slowly climbing those steps...

As a testament to my erratic music taste that has been so thoroughly discussed by my beloved housemates, I'm now listening to Rhapsody in Blue, George Gershwin. Somewhere along the current playlist are the brilliant Smashing Pumpkins... Pity that they've been smashed.

I'm surrounded by Toy Story characters in my housemate's vacated room. The important ones are all there... Woody and his horse for one, Buzz and the Evil Zork (is it?). Others include the springy dog and the rambling t-rex.

I spoke to my parents back home and I suddenly miss them loads... I guess home is the only real place I can hide from the rest of the world. My room back home is spartan and all thats left are my library of books, my bed and my desk... Probably with my bank statements on it. Its pretty much turned into the guest room at the moment for my visiting aunts and uncles who come around with those little monsters that taunt my dog. Well, not all of them anyway... but I'm sure once they get loose in the garden, Barks will have so much fun chasing them.... and licking them over till they cry. Not very nice things to say to those lil' critters... but rest assured that I'm not that mean to them. Especially when I do take them out to the zoo and parks around and try helping them with their English language (I'm actually looking forward to passing my Roald Dahl stuff to them). Of course, being brought up by watching Ultraman and Power Rangers, they thank me by getting me to wrestle them with their legs flying all over the place trying to aim for my glasses. Sigh...

Now listening to The Boy, The Smashing Pumpkins (Proudly ripped from my Aeroplane Flies High box set :D) My brother has been studying really hard... I guess when you live with someone most of your life, one can pretty much figure what another is doing. I can tell he's under some kind of pressure... and I guess its good that he doesn't follow my failure in the A- Levels. I do love my brother loads... only its just one of those brotherly things... I do wish him the very best and may we compete sometime soon. Actually, I think he's already had the moral victory... being the passive peace loving one in the family (Whereas I wreck utter havoc) and being intelligent, taller and definitely more knowledgeable than I am in general happenings and history around the world. All that is left now is for him to start defining his confidence and style (music, drama, speech you know the list). Is it any wonder why some think he's the older one? But to me, he's always boy boy... :D

Dad is placing less pressure on me lately... He's told me that he'd still be there if all goes wrong (fingers crossed that it doesn't) and he laughs when I tell him its hard and just goes, "Oh well kiddo, now you know what you've gotten yourself into" I have very pleasant memories of my father... I remember him reaching out for me when I was really upset when I was younger because of something my younger brother did (see, I do care for younger brother too). Yet, then... I turned away from him telling him to back off... we never got as close again.

Mom like my brother is the pacifist in the family... A lovely lady... Plenty of talent, especially in the kitchen... Just give her all the ingredients she needs and watch mom whip up things you'd only see in 5 star hotels and really posh restaurants. The usual comment given to her is whenever she hears this quote "I wonder how Danny and yourself aren't fat and chubby (well, I am now)" Mom's a tease... she loves bugging me asking really strange questions and she just loves her garden. Behind all the kindness and gentleness that she stands for, she really has an iron spirit. I remember her telling me that the one characteristic that drew my dad was her sense of confidence and independence (also that mom was absolutely gorgeous when she was younger, dad sure had good taste in women.) Over the years, I have to admit that statement is nothing short of being true. Sometimes I wonder if mom being a homekeeper has dampened her ambition. Sometimes I feel that mom has never really achieved what she could have.

I think I got my rebel streak from both my parents. Looking at both their families, they've been the ones who stand out... All of mom's younger sisters have taken a cue from her and led their lives differently... Now my lady cousins do the same.

I feel so darned juvenile!!!

Listening to: Goodbye Pork Pie Hat, CHarles Mingus
Thinking of:

My Granny has a shotgun! Well, no... but I'm sure she would if she looked hard enough to find grandpa's hunting rifle. Oh well...

WORK!
The supposed theme of the day, blown into smitherines by an inaccurate piece of calculation and strange results by the antiquated piece of software used... Think ummm 1981 and revised in 1990... Sigh, so much for being at the forefront of technology. But maybe its good that we aren't... since I can't even grapple with technology from a hundred years back anyway. Learn to walk before one learns how to run.

Claws out, paws hidden...

Listening to: Piano Concerto No. 1 in E minor, Fre'de'ric Chopin

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.
Benjamin Franklin

My mind is a wreck... Total study time so far, about a 100 minutes. Sure, its only 915... which means I've wasted almost an hour and a 1/2 today. Desperate times call for desperate measures....

"I know, my God, that You test the heart and are pleased with integrity. All these things have I given willingly and with honest intent..." 1 Chronicles 29:17

I'd like to quote those words... I'd like to say them and mean them... This time around, I'm not going to blame the world and its "obvious" conspiracy against me. However, I'd like to think about a conversation I had one night with a friend of mine a couple of days back... Mentioned last summer by another comrade, "I fear the time when you turn cold towards yourself..."

So often we herald the great and wonderful things that have happened (or in some cases... i.e yours truly, made up) in our more often fragile lives. The fickle fascination of all things glittering and new colours the glint in our eyes. The thrill of the chase, the capture and destruction, the selfish nature of mankind... Have we changed from the days of our barbaric past? Maybe more refined (though eating chicken wings is an exception... hands are the only way to go with that one), more cunning, devious, scheming... Oh Father forgive me... Have I not learned through the tutelage from the many around me?

-Deleted Paragraph-

I digress... In our place, we've got a bit of a mousy issue when one of my dear housemates got stummped by a little furry creature running across the kitchen. Sigh, a mouse! Definitely at the wrong time of the day... when my concentration was returning. So yeah, ended up sealing up the kitchen and cleaning everything when one of us thought, gee... since we're lacking mouse traps or anything of that sort, lets dump some booze on a piece of cheese and hopefully we'll find ourselves an intoxicated mouse hopefully scooting around in circles. Cut to the chase, mouse had some cheese (or at least my fellow housemate claimed toothmarks on the cheese, I wasn't too sure), mouse probably got tipsy and then mouse got sober (must've been one of those rugby mice) and still nowhere to be found. Time to get some mice friendly traps and hopefully we'll give our neighbours a little furry fiend. I'm just kidding... but yeah, got to get rid of it somehow and I think I'm the only one that dares or bothers to do it... Hmm... Cest La Vie

Right, gonna have to head on back to work... reading journal articles about collective pay bargaining...

Listening to: Up& Go, The Starting Line
Thinking of:

Right, so a basic case study on Rover... Subject, managing employee relations.

I was supposed to get off the computer a while ago, but somehow I'm kinda glued to my room. Music is a bigger distraction at the moment though.

I was flipping through a couple of blogs when I realised, that my life is still so sheltered and there are also a heck of a lot of losers out there, worse then me (shocking!) In between my ranting about how horrible my life is, dreams of fast cars and "what ifs," I've not done much. The only jobs I've had in my life aren't exactly jobs either, they're just for fun or for the sake of expirience. Money is usually there... or at least managed decently (Somehow I bet my parents would strongly disagree with that). Getting drunk isn't much of an expirience (too expensive).

Its such an irony that I wrote this blog in the first place to talk all the crap I want to and now I feel obliged to keep it toned down. At the moment, I really do want a decent car and go for a long drive... A trip to Oxford maybe... To Nottingham, maybe... only thing is, no car. I'd like to pay Jadie and Jo Han a short visit (Say 20 minutes or something, since Ray has effectively flown back to the States today) to run away from life.

I read the old antics of friends back home, just happy playing football and all... brilliant kids, only sometimes too pleased being in the same spot. The major difference I've noticed between my group of friends here and back home is that friends here are definitely more outgoing, people I can relate better with... People who want to move and get going. Friends back home... well, graduate, job, live with mom and dad... you get the idea.

No, I want to go hang gliding... there is a sense of freedom being in the air and just floating on a wing. Its wonderful! Some say they get a rush from it... I feel calm by just floating. I've only done parasailing a couple of times... but I want to get my own wings. To go from where I am...

-End-
Listening to: A Goodnight's Sleep, The Starting Line

- Another park photo, Tip of a red tulip with faded branches overhead and blue skies-

Listening to: Thats all, Michael Buble
Thinking of:

Feeling at the moment: Pensive...

I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter's night
That's all,
That's all.

My heart seeks, it finds... only thing between is a locked door.
I'm sorry I never was there...
When you cried and when you smiled to yourself
Never had my hand to comfort you
All I could offer were my thoughts across the miles...
I'm sorry...

Listening to: Fever, Michael Buble'
Thinking of:

Holy Smokes Batman! Its urr... Batman and Robin... in Whitely?! So it appears that the Caped Crusader and his trusty Bird friend have decended upon a little English town of Whitely. Gee Batman, I can't see the Bat sign at Gotham City anymore... So anyway, yes... keeping in the tradition of the costumes, 2 masked mystery men have been going around town have been kicking ass the only way Batman and Robin know how.

"The Reading Evening Post asked readers for news of the duo after they dealt with a pair of streakers at a local football cup final"

So one thing is for sure, they're not streaking around the little town in their skivies on the outside just for nothing. Ole' for Batman!

However, I guess Mr. Wayne (Oh, you mean I wasn't supposed to say that) decided to do things a little different in Whitely instead of just sending off bad guys (Biff! Ooff! Ouch!).

"Michelle Kirby was stranded when her Peugeot 206 ran out of petrol on Easter Sunday - until Batman and Robin appeared out of nowhere and pushed her car to the nearest petrol station."

The rest of the town had a reaction like that of this ol' chap...

"I said to my wife, it would make it a better and safer place with these men," he said. "Batman was quite a broad chap. They would scare a few muggers off and I'd feel safer in Whitley."




Image thanks to www.rufiesroadhousegrill.com


Batman and Robin making Whitely a safer place... Coming to an English town near you! Stay in school kids!

-a boy, a camera, a park and no rain-

Image thanks to Albert G. Richards





A flower is not too weak, a flower is not so cold
A flower is not so scared of being broken, growing old
I would be frail

Listening to: OST American Beauty
Thinking of: How in the world did I ever write essays in Malay

Bagaikan bicara untuk hati sendiri... Sentiasa aku merasakan bahawa kehidupan menjadi beban, aku merasakan keperluan untuk menyembunyikan diri dari setiap corak alam. Lantas aku patahkan apa saja pucuk yang mahu tumbuh, juga aku tepis dengan tanganku kumbang yang terbang mendekatiku.

Namun begitu, kehidupan bukan setakat menyembunyi... Hati ini, bagaikan rindu... bagaikan apa yang dicuba tidak mencukupi untuk mencapai tingkat yang terakhir. Sesungguhnya aku mahu mencapai dan menyambut tangan mereka yang paling dekat kepadaku. Namun bagi seketika, aku teringin melarikan diri and tidak menyambut segala seruan. Akhirnay, hanya suara seorang sahaja yang ku ingin dengar.

Segala yang diperlukan, sudah diberi... Namun, segala yang dimimpikan, menjelang hari menghilang.

Listening to: Bike Scene, Taking Back Sunday
Thinking of:

Bike Scene

I'll leave the lights down low
so she knows I mean business
And maybe we could talk this over
Cause I could be your best bet
Let alone your worst ex
And let alone your worst...

I wanna hate you so bad
But I can't (but I can't) stop this
anymore than you can

So honestly, how could you say those things
when you know they don't mean anything
And you know very well
that I can't keep my hands to myself,
hands to myself

I wanna hate you so bad
But I can't (but I can't) stop this
anymore than you can

This is all wrong and it shows
There's certain things I promised not to let you know,
(I've got a silly way of keepin you up on the edge of my seat,
I've got a silly way of keepin you up on the...)
not to let you know
I never let you, never let you, never...

You've got this silly way
of keeping me on the edge of my seat
But you're only counting the clock against the train
And I'm miserable, oh
(I've got a silly way of keepin you up on the edge of my seat,
I've got a silly way of keepin you up on the...)
And you're just getting started
I'm miserable, oh
And you're just getting started

You've got me right where you want me
(let's never talk) Let's never talk, let's never,
let's never talk about this again because...
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me

Anyway... yeah

Just read some of Elaine's Spring Break stuff, strange... while listening to Taking Back Sunday, something she's been trying to drill into my head over the past year. Oh well... But dang it girl! Why out of Cali.? But good yeah?! Spring Break! At least you don't have to worry about the weather changing from hour to hour like in this country and yeah, good bands on that side of the pond. I'll have to content myself with stuff like Britney Spears... oh yeah, she's coming over to the NEC anyone game?! *Now first I've got to stop strangling myself to say such a thing*

Hey Elaine, whats the tune you had on the page... Kinda liked it!

Had lunch with Danial. Only place open is Xananas... and there are so many parents in university. Guess thats cause its the start of term on Monday.

Surprised Kar Wai today... thank goodness she blurted she wanted a large mug yesterday. T'was out of ideas on what to get her for her birthday last week. So yeah, zipped out to change the ink cartridge I bought yesterday (bought it for the wrong printer and my printer is annoying me) and got that mug from Leamington.

Umut is coming back today, kinda looking forward to the idea of having someone else at home though I must say having the kitchen and the house to myself all through the holidays wasn't bad. Hehehe... now to convince parents to get me that cool apartment like Jen's (Tim. Ward's sister) in Bath. Hehehe... sure, dreams are free.

Anyway, its back to work then... I need to finish this referencing and start on the presentation.

Listening to: Boogie Stop Shuffle, Charles Mingus
Thinking of:

Right, just added another link to the list.... This time its to Liquidgeneration. Its one of those juveneille parody sites... Guess it pretty much tells you about my mental state eh?

Random comments this week

"You've got the most random taste in music" Matt.

"Hey, your accent... I can't put well, you've got this Britsh, not really, American thing... I like it" Claude


Am feeling a bit wonky... Started work at 6 in the morning and took a nap at 8am. Well, I fell asleep while listening to Beethoven's "Triple Concerto".

I'm thinking about a conversation I had last night and yeah, said something a bit stupid. Kinda broke the first rule of speaking to girls. Sigh... Oh well, guess I just slipped and fell on my bum.

Somehow these days I've not been able to think of anything good to write... No good incidences of which I can refer back to past expiriences. Writers block? Or maybe I'm just dead boring... I wish I was a bit more of a wild child to a certain extent. I do feel a bit old, listening to jazz (though I so often listen to good rock (not shit like Busted) and some punk and some drum and bass) and my room has sketches and paintings instead of posters (with the exception of Taz). Drinking is controlled and goodness, I've not done anything particularly stupid (besides last night's conversation) in a while. I'm getting bored with my own jokes and I keep running out of lines.

"Use your forehead to aim"

That was the last advice someone gave me on volleyball and that was 2 weeks back. Pretty much thats the last time I've played. I guess I ought to play either today or tomorrow... My badminton game isn't quite back to what it was.

*Yawn* Think I'm gonna help myself to more food! ;)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is it all about the money? Sometimes I do wonder... sure, I'm doing this degree for the sake of "financial freedom" when I get older. Yet some, most say that the best things in life are free... There is no justice... no justice at all.

"Didn't you have an imaginary friend when you were younger?"

"Sometimes I wonder if all my friends are just imaginary"

Though I thank God for being financially stable and I have more than sufficient to live. I wonder if the world looks at it differently... Is it any wonder why my affinity to animals is greater than that of people, I admit... I miss Barks a heck of a lot more than I miss some "friends" back home. I'm feeling fine, I have company around me and I have studies to attend to. Yet, those I know who actually care can be counted by the number of fingers on a single hand. At least I have to be honest, I hope I'm wrong. I care to much sometimes... I don't understand why I place myself in vulnerable positions only to be shot down again and again... Can't I find my own back bone somewhere? As small as it is?

Dang it, I really should be writing happier notes

Listening to: Dizzy Moods, Charles Mingus
Thinking of:

Goodness, I really feel like a drive... Thinkin' about it, I really should've gotten that car in the beginning of the year. I mean sure, the drive thing is impulsive but dang it, it would be so much fun just roaming around b- roads at night. The last couple of times with friends weren't bad at all... especially the one with Danial. Kinda like the way he's confident in turns and all. Even the corner of which I forgot to remind him about... It was tight and tires squeeling, fun... I'm sure it would've been better in the driver's seat. But hey, I'm not complaining. I miss my old civic... it wasn't powerful (1.6 Vtec) but it was fun.

I was driving back one night (when I had a car) from university heading up Gibbet Hill when I noticed the lights of a VW Golf coming at me pretty fast. Now I admit I wasn't slugging around, but one thing's for sure... the GTI (or at least I thought it was) had loads more power then the 1.4 I was driving. Doing approximately 75mph (120- 130kph) through the broad s turns. What he didn't know was to control his car... He zipped past me on the outside while climbing the hill and swerved back in to the left followed by a right hander. The road on the left was bumpy and the moron swung the car a bit too hard onto the right lane (which is almost blind at night) and then swung back into the bumpy left side. This from my view really threw him into disarray and he almost lost the back end a few times in a bit of an uncontrolled fashion. (car swerving left and right). By the time he arrived at the lights, he lost so much time (I slowed down quite a bit for safety's sake, hey I had to return the car ok?) that I was right back on his tail. Nope, I wasn't even racing the bugger... So then, he turned left at the lights and I kept heading back to Leamington, a leisurely drive. I've driven the Golf before and its such a forgiving car. You can do almost anything you want with it and it'll still be pretty well composed, I guess it would a nice car to have, but I guess the call to more sporting cars (think 3 series and A4) has its large appeal. I admit that I'm not that good a driver... technically and intuitively so yeah cars like the M3 would be wasted on me big time. Here is for a bit more track time and a bit of education... (Still, kinda like taking a look on um' Mat Kancil's faces when one just powers past them in a simple race)


Random wish is to drive a Lotus Elise MKII sometime soon, a roadworthy go kart. ;)

Listening to:
Thinking of:

Anyway, while I'm waiting for the lunch time crowd to disperse so that I can have my lunch in peace, I thought I'd write a little.

Right, so MTV of late have debuted a couple of interesting programmes. Pimp My Ride... Well, thats when they pick up an old car by some poor reader and have the car modified finished with some pretty funky do. Fair enough, it is afterall bling culture these days to mod up ol' Granny Smith's Honda Civic.

In the same vein but from a totally different world, MTV has also opted to well, modify one's look to look like a celebrity. Now this program is called "I want a famous face" So say if guy A wants to look like say Brad Pitt or something like that and wins public votes to do so, MTV will gladly ship him off for a whole day (maybe weeks) to get that done. Likewise for women and all... So fair enough! The grand prize winner for this total change was a bloke by the name of Michael J. Tito (no relations to the space tourist). Whoopeedo! So Tito, who do you wanna turn into?

Tito: Well umm... I kinda want to be J.Lo

So Tito and J.Lo might rhyme... but acckk!! J. LO?! No, and I don't mean Joseph Lopez (MC college fella's should know this one). So sigh... what has MTV done in the service of Tito?

"Michael J Tito underwent gruelling hormone treatment, breast enlargements, bottom implants, jaw and brow sculpting and cheek implants to look like J-Lo."

Tito has also taken the liberty to change his name to Jessica. Sweet! However, he admitted that nobody has so far told him he looked like J. Lo. And he wonders why.... Sheesh! Saving grace?

"No, but my people tell me all the time I am very J-Lo-ish, I am her fan. I love her. I think she is beautiful. I just wished I would have gotten my breasts a little larger." (ahem... and what about the behind?)

The Result:


Thank you MTV.com for the picture


So there you go folks, another happy MTV customer. Now if I'd just change it back to Pimp My Ride...

I do apologize for not doing any proper entrys lately...

Listening to: Zip, nadaa, zilch
Thinking of: Bonnets, Bumpers...


*CRASH!*



Well, thats the sort of thing I'm reading about now... Crash analysis of composite fibre structures. Gabriel next to me (this Brazillian friend of mine) also running through his project. Like mad leamings jumping off cliffs, we're all dashing towards oblivion only to be splattered and popped into smitherines.

Of course, in the same lab... there are also whiny engineers whining about things so trivial. Well, alright... I'm not annoyed at them, but the nasal tone of the voice. Ooohhh.... Oh shoot, ryans here... gotta run!

Listening to: Stand Inside Your Love, Smashing Pumpkins
Thinking of:

-Nothin-

Listening to: Gravedigger, Dave Matthews (On repeat, acoustic version)

"Cyrus Jones 1810 to 1913,
made his great grandchildren believe you could live to 100 and 3
a 100 and 3, is forever when you're just a little kid so
Cyrus Jones lived forever
Gravedigger
when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

Muriel Stonewall 1903 to 1954,
she lost both of her babies in the second great war
now you should never have to watch your only children lowered in the ground
I mean you should
never have to bury your own babies
Gravedigger
when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

Ring around the Rosy
Pocket full of posies
ashes to ashes
we all fall down

Gravedigger
when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that I can feel the rain
oh Gravedigger

Little Mikey Parsons, 67 to 75
He rode his bike like the devil until the day he died
when he grows up he wants to be Mr. Vertigo on the flying trapeze
oh, 1940 to 1992

Gravedigger
when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that I can feel the rain
I can feel the rain
I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

Gravedigger
when you dig my grave
could you make it shallow
so that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger" Dave Matthews

Listening to: Any Other Name, Thomas Newman (OST American Beauty)
Thinking of:



Skylark
With the voice so continous
With harmony and poise
Your song fills this world.

Yet with all the chaos
You seem calm, concerned with your song
Little disappearence
Little Gone
The Skylark has taken flight, the skylark has left the building

-SKYLARK-

Of morning afters

Listening to: The Prayer, Charlotte Church and whatchamacallit
Thinking of:

Somehow with this song, I kinda miss having the Tag Mclaren amp with me as I think the lil' Denon is a little screachy and sounds a little strained. The soundstage isn't open enough in my opinion and there is too much of a gap between the ranges. I guess you just can't ignore the difference between real seperates and wannabes (like my lil' Denon).

The day is a little gloomy with sparodic sunshine, I wish I had been able to stay up longer last night, but its quite hard when one can literally feel the body shutting down one eye at a time then followed by brief mental paralysis and then WHUMP! Into the bed it is... Hehehehe... think I'm just lazy.

It was quite sudden that so much of my past and the memories I locked away came back to haunt me over the past week. The numerous questions I've asked and yet to be answered... The unresolved emotional baggage. But I've moved on...


Listening to: Days Before You Came, Placebo
Thinking of:

TRACER BULLET

Loud, angry, progressive... Placebo! Yay! Final report landmark... 17,000 words. I really should stop writing and just hand it in, the more I think about it, the more I tend to write. To add to it, 17k was after I was a bit annoyed at a section and decided to delete it as I have no idea how to interpret the findings of the crash structure. I don't know if its important as well... Well, think I could have just handed the thing in and not feel bad... Hehehe....

Now its on to engines before I touch another landmark word value... but before that, LUNCH! Hehehe...

I remember watching a student play in the 1st year, I was told before hand it was going to be something rather progressive smokey detective story playing along the cliches of the British "Who wants to be a millionaire" cliche. So, 5 minutes into the play and out came someone jumping around butt naked whose saving grace was the guitar covering his privates. I was like WHOA! PROGRESSIVE! Strangely enough the main actor who played the detective wears his detective styled clothes even in real life. The battered up coat and the hat... Stuble on the chin with a toothpick in mouth or something like that. Well, it does help that he lives in Leamington, so I do see him quite often. The smokey air that surrounds his character remains with the almost movie like facade he places.

Now Playing: Spite and Malice, Placebo


Surreal... my mind is someplace else. Another facet revealed, a facade demolished... Revolution, obscurity yet in calm air. Ace, take your time... With fleeting beauty, comes a maze of confidence, confusion and a game of cloak and dagger.... Who has it? Who is the chaser? Who is being chased?





"You can play your card, I'll hold onto mine
Tied up in the reasons, Ace take your time
Looks turn to lovers, flames into fires
Jack loves his tragedy, Queen her desires
You look well suited like you came to win
Lust, spite and malice, your degrees of sin
Wrap me in your trauma and I may just give you mine
Queen take your chances
Ace take your time," Placebo

Right, enough of words being thrown around, I'm hungry (as opposed to being sleepy)!

Listening to: The Cylinder, Modern Jazz Quartet (Taken off The Last Concert)
Thinking of:

Brilliant day today, sunshine and all... too bad I'm cooped up in my room doing a bit of work here and there. Well, thats not exactly true since I did go to church for Good Friday service. It was good, it was refreshing... ;) I continued on my way back to Leamington, and this time I thought I'd take a little B-Road to Kenilworth and then head around the park and then towards Leamington. I took quite a few detours through little roads to explore and all, the only thing I had concerned was the level of fuel I have in the car. So yeah, decided against another detour to Leek Wotton otherwise thats gonna be another nice country road to drive on. I so love driving in this weather, if I had a convertible, the top down just running around country roads, just hoping there aren't that many bugs.... hehehehe. But I did take a detour through the housing areas in Leamington, the nice ones at least and the squares of which some of the houses were on were absolutely gorgeous.

I might go out for another ride should the weather stay like this and as a reward for whatever I've done, should I deem it good enough that is. Oh, maybe tea?! Anyone game for that? Or maybe a walk to the park and armed with the camera... Who knows what shots lie in waiting ;)



Loungin'

Listening to: Jimi Thing, Dave Matthews Band

Woe, it is I...
For you are thine friend and thine faithful companion
Where should I walk and not encounter thee in the streets
Alas, for it is thee who slashes and destroy
For the wounded, suffer from a weakening of heart

Stand up ye peoples,
Suffer no more, for woe delights in fear and fear alone
Do what thine must and plan ahead
For woe, though mine best companion
Shall not be thine

Listening to: Piano Concerto no. 1 in E minor op. 11, Allegro
Thinking of: *Yawn*

I'm supposed to be in bed... Why the heck am I awake a 6:30?! I'm supposed to go into uni. with Ryan at 9 and coming back from Imran's about 1 last night (this morning), I should be in bed. Oh well, its back to normal I guess... waking up multiple times during the night.

Anyway, the house is lovely when its quiet anyway...

Anyway, t'was at Imran's last night along with Sophia (Imran is a Pakistani English and Sophia is Moroccan) and of all things, we were watching Jackie Chan flicks.... dubbed in very bad English. There I was on the couch, laughing like a lunatic just listening to whatever they were talking about. Goodness, they really should get the dubs a lot better or not do it at all.

Listening to: Take 5, Dave Brubeck Quartet
Thinking of: Useless!


=I feel stupid, utterly foolish... Spineles, just plain spineless. Somebody shoot me please... =

Listening to: Well, I really don't know...
Thinking of:

The Naked Chef gets burned...

Well, we all know good ol' Jamie Oliver... the naked chef. Pretty good dishes, some fun and a short tongue. Ahem, but we never really took the idea of the naked chef quite literally now have we... It looks like he did... A lil' bird (mind the pun) told me that our good friend Jamie got a little too intimate with the oven while surprising his wife Jools on Valentines day... He did afterall, do it in the buff... (Aha! Cries the crowd, thats why he is le' ol' naked chef!) So he got lil' Willy a tad red that day and it kinda ruined Valentines for Jools and himself.

Quote: "It was on Valentine's Day. I was naked in the kitchen and burnt my -beep-. I really ruined my evening - and my night."


Oh well, will that have me grimacing whenever I watch him in the kitchen struting his stuff with simple dishes... Nah, however I think I'll learn from that one, never try to impress anyone by cooking without any clothes on. *Mental Note*

For those of you who are concerned about ol' Jamie's love life after the fiery incident, he did make for it and swept Jools of her feet and landed in Paris *Crowd goes "Awwww...."*

Of late, I have also found myself not much in a mood to dissect whatever that has been going on and finding items of interest to mention of whatever life has thrown to yours truly. I do humbly apologise and unfortunately, I think it might be due to the long hibernation in the library...

Listening to: Hums of computers in F106, Design Suite
Thinking of:

Good ol' Murphy strikes again... As soon as my waning concentration got the best of me whilst I was studying today, I decided to pop by engineering to use the computers while catching up on some news. So as I crossed the bridge, the fire alarm went off, so nope... retreated back to the library concourse hoping that its just a false alarm and that in 5 minutes I would be on my way. Those 5 mintues turned into 45 minutes and I got fed up and turned back into the library. As soon as I did that, it stopped!! Woe is I for the alarm isn't

1721 hours


=Have gone barmy=

Listening to: Piano Concerto in F, George Gershwin
Thinking of:

Well, alright... I admit it, I dozed off in the library... Sigh... I've got the concentration of a 3 year old. Except in the 3 year old's case, he'd be running into stationary objects. I just fall asleep... old geezer I am. Tragic, tragic. *Yawns*

Bahrain GP! Need I say more, Ferrari once again painted the town red in a rosy cocktail flavor. What I found amusing was that the Bahrain organizers decided to have a fruity punch under the pretext that it was a predominantly Muslim country. Right, who wants to take bets that good ol' Malaysia will follow suit?!

Disappointments... Well, McLaren! To think that the MP4- 19 is an evolution of the unraced MP4-18, you'd think that they'd be ultra reliable after having 2 years to prepare the car. Maybe its Mercedes's fault (oh, I can see those McLaren fans seething, hey... My dad included ok?) 4 engine blow ups? Fun.... Gee, and to think my dad got the Merc instead of the Bimmer thinking it was more reliable. Muahahaha... and Ferraris are known to be classic Italians in their road car guise. Passionate, but so often unreliable... Quite the irony don't you think?

BMW, I guess JPM was rather unfortunate... but all the pre- season hype about the walrus tusk nose, has it really lived up to the expectations? I guess its not quite the time to answer that really since the european season is coming into play and I guess that's when the work and fun for fans await. Remember how last year Williams threw the order into topsy turvy coming out tops with work done to their car in the european season?

Last night, I had the pleasure of having Yael for company for dinner and a film. I guess it was time to catch up since its been a while since we did just that. Had Thai for dinner and Mona Lisa Smile for the film...





Thanks to BBC Sport for the picture... Now look at um' hands...


Right, keeping in line with the F1 theme today... Jenson Button while doing an advert for BBCi, insisted on having a hand double seeing that his hands weren't manly enough. According to the Evening Standard, Button 2 time podium placed driver refused to pose for close- ups of his hand using a tv remote control. Button has described his hands as "dainty." Now, I can't imagine him radioing back to the pit wall during a race... "Dave (David Richards, BAR team boss), I think I broke a nail! I've gotta pit the next lap to undo the damage!" But lets not take too much of a piss out of him, he's not too bad a driver and he's showing good promise, now if only he can stop his dad from making such a fool out of himself.

Listening to: Rhapsody in Blue, George Gershwin
Thinking of:


Irrational Exuberance Translated to Retail Theraphy

Listening to: Stardust, Dave Brubeck Quartet
Thinking of:

A little discouraged, a little weak
A little something and maybe a little tip
Each key plays a song
Each melody weaves a tune

A gorgeous Sunday morning and I've got to get ready to go out.... The world beckons my appearance out of the comfort of my room, my bed, my desk and my music. Hehehe... Sure....

"Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
Albert Camus

When friends become competitors, how do you seperate that friendship from professionalism and work ethic?

Oh brother where art thou?!

My coherance has turned against me, restless thoughts are as bad as my sleeping patterns these days. I wonder why though. I'm gonna have to start my work early today... since once again I'm going to go out in the evening. Strange, I think the cat's got the brain... Can't seem to think of what to write lately. I guess I could start telling you guys about fuel stoichometry and overhead camshafts and all... but don't think that'll be too interesting yeah?



=my study view at the moment=

Listening to: Comptine D'Un Autre eTe, OST Amelie
Thinking of:

My thoughts are in shambles, yet I feel reasonably fine. Talking to Asako really made the day a lot nicer than just being cooped up in the library reading about valve mechanisms and intake manifolds, oh not forgetting fuel stoichometry.

Today however started off quite well, I finally took time to organise some of my pictures and placed them up on the wall. My printed digital pictures arrived well and fine, stuck some of my favourite ones up as well. Hung a new drawing print of Putteny Bridge Weir in Bath in front of my desk, instead of the acrylic piece from Cordoba. I later popped out to Leamington town and got myself another 2 cds. One jazz (The Essential Dave Brubeck, just thought... what the heck) and a loud angry one (Black Market Music, Placebo). Hehehe, hence the strange music taste continues.

"If you cannot convince them, confuse them."
Harry S Truman

Listening to: Fade to Grey (live), Jars of Clay
Thinking of:

"And then I see You there
With Your arms open wide and You try to embrace me
These lonely tears I cry
They keep me in chains and I wish they'd release me
Cold is the night but
Colder still is the heart made of stone, turned from clay
And if you follow me
You'll see all the black, all the white fade to grey"

Taken from the song I'm listening to...

I'm wondering if I should play volleyball to get rid of all the restlessness that I'm so annoyed with. However, judging from the way I played 2 days ago, oh goodness... I think I'd be even more frustrated after the game.

I feel like Icarus, fleeing from prison with these new wings only to fly too close to the sun and then come crashing down.

On a more amusing note: (thought this was quite funny actually); The mermaid patron of Ustka, a Polish coastal town faces plastic surgery after councilors decided her breasts were too small and hips too wide. So now they've decided to give the lil' ol' mermaid liposuction and a boob job. Why the change? Not that her merman left her and she's now alone... heck, she's seen just with a fish (sure, there are other fish in the sea...) but since the town decided that giving her a little nip and tuck she'd be more attractive and so will the town. Oh well... we'll see how it goes. ANyway, I was trying to find the picture of the new improved mermaid, but it was rather hard since I don't understand Polish, guess I need Adam Manguski to help me then... Oh, this is the current look of the mermaid...







So, whatcha think?

Listening to: Bag's Groove, MJQ
Thinking of:

Something is amiss, my heart isn't where my body is... and my head, oh well... thats long gone to the Bahamas.

I read the news today and well, so a bomb has been found on the railtracks on the route from Madrid to Seville. I feel appalled, disgusted and a little shaken. I remember somebody saying after the previous bomb blasts on Spanish Railways that its probably the safest place to go, since lightning doesn't strike the same place twice. Well, looks like the impossible just came true.

I read on further on the topic... What the EU will and should be doing about the problem. Where Europol suggests information sharing among the member states, biometric systems and a whole of a lot of other measures which at a glance, seemed pretty much like common sense. A database of groups and individuals? Hasn't that been done and people been earmarked? A poor sharing of information among member states... hmm... I guess there are things that seriously need to be ironed out, no? Its tragic though, that somehow there still lies a notion that all men are brothers yet in "brotherly" love, the innocent victims are victims of a triger... nothing big, just a slight push of a button. Too much injustice in the name of love has been done... It puzzles me, how is that love?

"Sooner or later, there won't be an earth worth fighting for" Calvin

Listening to: Strange Meadow Lark, Dave Brubeck Quartet
Thinking of:

I had the privilege of having a great couple of hours today with 2 exceptionally great friends. In the afternoon, we trundled around Coventry with not much of intention, just to grab some grub and to revel in the company. It was great fun...

In the evening, the company of another over an exceptionally wonderful dinner and lots to talk about. Just to sit and to catch up, and to allow one another into opinions and thoughts of various things from work to our very different paths to where we are now.

I shan't think too much about the company today... Don't want to dissect them and break them down into pieces, just to revel in knowing that I had good fun and good company, and way too much good food.

Listening to: Dodo, Dave Matthews
Thinking of: Wake up

Feel like I'm sailing to the end of the flat world and falling over the other side. Right, significant events the past few days

-Passion of Christ, Watched it... didn't cry... but felt utterly destroyed. Oh Lord, my God... for so much had to be done for the sake of sin.

- Volleyball and badminton yesterday... I feel as though my body has just fused together and being stiff. Somebody pass me the crutches will ya? I guess playing for 4 hours was asking for it...

- Work? Whats that... have to get back into the groove.

- Head in the sand, like those ostriches...

Steven asked me if I'd like to go down to London on Saturday as he's throwing a party. I'm tempted... but I've got to think about it unfortunately.