Drinking Atticat!

Listening to:Thinking of:

Get in first. Not only will you seem more generous, but you'll save some cash: most of your boozing buddies won't have arrived yet.

• If you are the late arrival, offer to buy a round as a matter of urgency. Yes, that means before you have taken your coat off.

• Slowcoaches can't opt into a round unless they have drunk more than half of their last one.

• Designated drivers don't buy rounds. If they have got to put up with your drunken chat all evening, the least you can do is subsidise their tomato juice.

• The most expensive drink in a round shouldn't cost more than twice the price of the cheapest. So champagne is out, as are Long Island Ice Teas. Unless your boss is buying, in which case: fair game.

• If you need to leave, you must wait till you've bought your next round. Repeat until closing time.

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