Listening to:Mr P. C, John Coltrane
Thinking of:
A warning label on a packet of nuts proclaim "May contain nuts" probably have caused many a chuckle en route to ripping the packet and onwards to nut popping. Lately, Britain's label writers have gone on an all out assault on our mental consciousness (suppose it does prevent the occasional law suit or "buy insert product name, get ludicrous warning").
Several moons ago, Pro Consumer magazine Which? requested readers sending in curious labels spotted on products used by consumers themselves. Naturally being all bright eyed and apparently rather free... Consumers poured out generously to this request and lo and behold, a list of labels.
"International Yacht Varnish comes in a tin decorated with a shipÂ’s wheel, that speaks of the hardy polishing that must go on at sea. In the fine print purchasers were warned: "“Not suitable for marine use."" Surely most yachts are kept in the living room as part of a theme decoration.
A birthday car for 2 year olds with a big fluffy no. 2 on it cruelly states its intentions by having a "Not suitable for children under 3 years." What is a person to do? Pass the card to the kid when he or she is 3?
Shoppers who bought Puma trainers were reassured by a sign on the box: "Average contents: 2"
WhWhich was? was curious. "“We can'’t help musing whether Puma helplineelpline to link those who got one shoe with the lucky ones who got three." Just in case someone had 2 left feet?
Also here, in reference to Roy's post a while ago
On the other hand, there is a part of pseudoscience... to convince buyers that product X is better than product Y by the virtue of using some "sciency" word. My favourite being "Reverse Osmosis Water." What the heck does that do for you? Nothing! It's just a method of filtering water through a membrane. So does that mean one bottle of water is better than the next one on a shelf? Nope, they both do the same thing and for all you know, the filteration process is just performed through a filthy rag covered with moss. Hey, moss utilises this osmosis nonsence!
How to sell Penta bottled water for £1.50 a bottle? The answer was an entirely new take on the common habit of drinking water.
"You can use Penta to enjoy what we call Bio-Hydration: optimal cellular hydration that will help your body combat the negative effects of 21st century living and help your brain to stay more alert all day long."
If that sounds complicated, don't worry. Penta is "“easy to drink"”.
Anyway, here are others for your own viewing pleasure
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly
ChildÂ’s Superman outfit
Do not turn upside down
On bottom of a tiramisu (Tesco)
Warning: Not intended for use as a dental drill
Household DIY drill
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
Swedish chainsaw
This product moves when used
Child'’s scooter
Use this door only when entering/exiting
An office door in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Thinking of:
A warning label on a packet of nuts proclaim "May contain nuts" probably have caused many a chuckle en route to ripping the packet and onwards to nut popping. Lately, Britain's label writers have gone on an all out assault on our mental consciousness (suppose it does prevent the occasional law suit or "buy insert product name, get ludicrous warning").
Several moons ago, Pro Consumer magazine Which? requested readers sending in curious labels spotted on products used by consumers themselves. Naturally being all bright eyed and apparently rather free... Consumers poured out generously to this request and lo and behold, a list of labels.
"International Yacht Varnish comes in a tin decorated with a shipÂ’s wheel, that speaks of the hardy polishing that must go on at sea. In the fine print purchasers were warned: "“Not suitable for marine use."" Surely most yachts are kept in the living room as part of a theme decoration.
A birthday car for 2 year olds with a big fluffy no. 2 on it cruelly states its intentions by having a "Not suitable for children under 3 years." What is a person to do? Pass the card to the kid when he or she is 3?
Shoppers who bought Puma trainers were reassured by a sign on the box: "Average contents: 2"
WhWhich was? was curious. "“We can'’t help musing whether Puma helplineelpline to link those who got one shoe with the lucky ones who got three." Just in case someone had 2 left feet?
Also here, in reference to Roy's post a while ago
On the other hand, there is a part of pseudoscience... to convince buyers that product X is better than product Y by the virtue of using some "sciency" word. My favourite being "Reverse Osmosis Water." What the heck does that do for you? Nothing! It's just a method of filtering water through a membrane. So does that mean one bottle of water is better than the next one on a shelf? Nope, they both do the same thing and for all you know, the filteration process is just performed through a filthy rag covered with moss. Hey, moss utilises this osmosis nonsence!
How to sell Penta bottled water for £1.50 a bottle? The answer was an entirely new take on the common habit of drinking water.
"You can use Penta to enjoy what we call Bio-Hydration: optimal cellular hydration that will help your body combat the negative effects of 21st century living and help your brain to stay more alert all day long."
If that sounds complicated, don't worry. Penta is "“easy to drink"”.
Anyway, here are others for your own viewing pleasure
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly
ChildÂ’s Superman outfit
Do not turn upside down
On bottom of a tiramisu (Tesco)
Warning: Not intended for use as a dental drill
Household DIY drill
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
Swedish chainsaw
This product moves when used
Child'’s scooter
Use this door only when entering/exiting
An office door in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Comments