On Being an Asian Idealist
Listening to:
Thinking of:
"Aiyah, sometimes-ah, you're more Ang Moh than Chinese" (Sometimes, you're more Caucasian than Chinese)
I've been told those lines more often than I can remember when, where, who, why, what and how.
Some say I speak with an accent, which isn't too far from the truth. Some will justify their perception by;
"Because you've been away in Engrand for how many years ah? No wonder you tok funny"
It's been 3 years since I've been back and I've not been spared the ridicule of being different. For starters, not as justification or defense... I do like my accent, I believe it's not so much of where it comes from
"I reckon it's American"
"No way, it's more British"
"Y'know, at times its quite Greek"
I've had it even before I went over and maybe just accentuated further whilst I'm away. It's a trained manner of speaking, something of which I hoped would've made whatever I said clearer, presentable and to a certain extent, to sound slightly more articulate. There you have it, it's a FAKE a BLOODY FAKE.
Never have I in my life, save the past 3 years have I tried so hard to tone down this personality of mine. I liken it with a well endowed lady being forced to wear a sports bra daily just to hide a part of her. Yet, I'm still judged and labeled as some form of Asian/ Caucasian hybrid.
I've never claimed to be Anglophilic, I just happen to like some things from the British Isles. I've never claimed to be superior to the rest of fellow Malaysians, in fact I think of myself of a lesser being than my peers, them having accomplished so much more than I have in fewer number of years.
I do wish to think that all my life I've been strongly independent to a certain extent and to a certain extent have a tendency to ridicule sloth and plain idiocy (though, I'm one myself). Only when I was away from home had I been given the full go- ahead to display this facet.
Speaking in confidence is something trained, not a talent. The countless hours in front of the mirror and forcing myself on stage, writing un-read speeches and writing letters. It's all part of a training one subjects one's self to. Yet, I'm sad to say... it's still something I wish I can polish and refine further (maybe throw in listening into the mix as well, I'm trying... I really am).
Does me writing about Europe make me any less Asian?
Does being open to suggestion and willing to take an argument up make me any less Asian?
Heck, does not finding a partner and not wanting to get hitched make me any less Asian?
I'm not writing out of annoyance but out of pittance. Some of my favorite places are Asian cities and towns, it's Asian civilization that fascinates me. Note that the world takes notice of Asian economic growth. People move faster in some Asian countries, people value culture in most Asian countries. I've always been a firm believer that Malaysia in its right is fantastically gifted
"Why move to the UK for work, the opportunity here itself is incredible"
Its centuries of talent, decades of ingenuity and many years of hard work, all culminating so wonderfully in a pot of diversity. Think of our independence, think of Sudirman, P. Ramlee and the rest. Yet, as I look around... I see sloth, dependence and thick necked waste.
When the Asian tigers roared, why were so few up to taking up opportunity now taken by our cousins further north east and south west. Have we turned into hyenas feasting on what used to be bountiful carrion, now hoping for the next thing to fall on our lap?
As I look at it, it's a wonderful opportunity to rebuild this nation. Please remove ideas of false hope, of dwindling opportunity. We need to start from a squeak before we can roar.
-also very rough around the edges, I think I'm rusty-
Thinking of:
"Aiyah, sometimes-ah, you're more Ang Moh than Chinese" (Sometimes, you're more Caucasian than Chinese)
I've been told those lines more often than I can remember when, where, who, why, what and how.
Some say I speak with an accent, which isn't too far from the truth. Some will justify their perception by;
"Because you've been away in Engrand for how many years ah? No wonder you tok funny"
It's been 3 years since I've been back and I've not been spared the ridicule of being different. For starters, not as justification or defense... I do like my accent, I believe it's not so much of where it comes from
"I reckon it's American"
"No way, it's more British"
"Y'know, at times its quite Greek"
I've had it even before I went over and maybe just accentuated further whilst I'm away. It's a trained manner of speaking, something of which I hoped would've made whatever I said clearer, presentable and to a certain extent, to sound slightly more articulate. There you have it, it's a FAKE a BLOODY FAKE.
Never have I in my life, save the past 3 years have I tried so hard to tone down this personality of mine. I liken it with a well endowed lady being forced to wear a sports bra daily just to hide a part of her. Yet, I'm still judged and labeled as some form of Asian/ Caucasian hybrid.
I've never claimed to be Anglophilic, I just happen to like some things from the British Isles. I've never claimed to be superior to the rest of fellow Malaysians, in fact I think of myself of a lesser being than my peers, them having accomplished so much more than I have in fewer number of years.
I do wish to think that all my life I've been strongly independent to a certain extent and to a certain extent have a tendency to ridicule sloth and plain idiocy (though, I'm one myself). Only when I was away from home had I been given the full go- ahead to display this facet.
Speaking in confidence is something trained, not a talent. The countless hours in front of the mirror and forcing myself on stage, writing un-read speeches and writing letters. It's all part of a training one subjects one's self to. Yet, I'm sad to say... it's still something I wish I can polish and refine further (maybe throw in listening into the mix as well, I'm trying... I really am).
Does me writing about Europe make me any less Asian?
Does being open to suggestion and willing to take an argument up make me any less Asian?
Heck, does not finding a partner and not wanting to get hitched make me any less Asian?
I'm not writing out of annoyance but out of pittance. Some of my favorite places are Asian cities and towns, it's Asian civilization that fascinates me. Note that the world takes notice of Asian economic growth. People move faster in some Asian countries, people value culture in most Asian countries. I've always been a firm believer that Malaysia in its right is fantastically gifted
"Why move to the UK for work, the opportunity here itself is incredible"
Its centuries of talent, decades of ingenuity and many years of hard work, all culminating so wonderfully in a pot of diversity. Think of our independence, think of Sudirman, P. Ramlee and the rest. Yet, as I look around... I see sloth, dependence and thick necked waste.
When the Asian tigers roared, why were so few up to taking up opportunity now taken by our cousins further north east and south west. Have we turned into hyenas feasting on what used to be bountiful carrion, now hoping for the next thing to fall on our lap?
As I look at it, it's a wonderful opportunity to rebuild this nation. Please remove ideas of false hope, of dwindling opportunity. We need to start from a squeak before we can roar.
-also very rough around the edges, I think I'm rusty-
Comments