Listening to: Really True Blues, Modern Jazz Quartet
Thinking of:
Gloomy weather, work and an overrunned schedule (done carelessly by yours truly) and I wonder how I'm going to make it tomorrow morning. I know I should be doing work since I've got loads of other things to do and not much time to do it... But I really just feel like ranting and maybe, just maybe go do something with all this frustration pent up from days in a row. Hopefully a game of volleyball should get rid of some steam... I mean a painful game while whacking balls around the court might help yeah?
On the other hand, it really is just melancholy forcing its way back into my insignificant life... I don't think that in the 21 years of my life, I've made any significant impact on anyones' life. Quite a waste of 21 years really... don't you think? But of course, here I'm hoping that should I shape the world of someone in the future, those years before that would be a little more worthwhile then... Perhaps I should take a step back and look... perhaps I was never destined for greatness, only the person that is an aquaintance... someone most people I know can do without. Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you could be of service to the country... Paraphrased, naturally... I fail to understand my contribution to anyone and to any group of people I've known so far. I know surely that there is a reason for being, only problem is... what is the reason should you be wandering like a tramp and his old boot? I fail to comprehend the manner of which I act, usually beyond thought and reason... The brashness and stupidity that is the reputation of a clown....
Is everything physical? Are thoughts just derived from little chemicals running around in the brain? Are emotions just the same thing? What is the function of the soul? Is it an independant figure apart from the body? How is it intergrated with life as we live everyday? The world that we live in, is it all just physical forces and physical matter?
In ending... I want to let it slip, with the tunnel's end so close.... Will the door out of it be shut to me again? To close the eyes to the world, never to wake up... to live in a dream, so close to reality... we never know the difference... How would you and I be?
Listening to: My First Love, Utada Hikaru (just plain piano)
Thinking of: My day
Oh alright, I admit it... I've got a wee bit of sappiness somewhere inside of me... Just a bit. On the other hand, I am learning to appreciate the piano lately... Pity its something I've not learnt and to a certain extent, its sound is unique and somewhat complicated to explain the little bit of romanticism behind it... Oh well, goes for music in general I guess.
The day did get better from the morning... Though I've only done 2 pages and 2 papers out of my intended infinite number, I feel a bit more comfortable now... I guess volleyball did help... Even though I'm crap at it, it was still good fun. Sigh... Its strange though, after a period of frustration and all that pent up energy gotten rid off, the slight depression comes about... I guess its a reminder of the time in school, the perpetually depressed and low self esteemed fella... Oh boy, how did I survive those 2 years? I guess it does come around sometimes... only this time a lot better dealt with and perhaps less significant.
I've just tried Luther Vandross's, Dance With my Father and admittedly I really do like it... Oh goodness, what am I turning into. Anyway, just thought I'd give a better picture of the day really... nothing much...
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